my little hero

Hey all!  
I tell you what, this weekend was absolutely awful - well, I should rephrase that - I am ALIVE which actually makes it wonderful but the experience this weekend was awful.  
Oh where to begin??  
Well, Jaden had to miss last Friday of school because she had a fever of around 103-104 when she came home from school Thursday.  I assumed she had strep since I had it the week before.  So, I get up Friday and make her a doctor's appt but can't get her in until 3:00 that afternoon, so I force her to just lie down on the couch and "rest" so her fever doesn't go sky high!  Anyways, the kids want a water out of the fridge and for some reason can't do this themselves as they normally can.  I get up from cuddling with Jaden on the couch and fall flat on my face - completely black out.  Wow, scared the kids like crazy!  So, I am assuming it's because I hadn't eaten anything and so I drag myself to the pantry for a spoonful of peanut butter and a glass of Dr. Pepper.  I fumble my way around the kitchen and finally finish the quick breakfast I have made for myself and try to get my "bearings" back so I can make it back to the couch.  I crawl back.  And sit for a good 15 minutes.  Still a little woozy but thinking I feel better.  Then a fight begins in the back bedroom; one in which I can't let take care of itself.  So I get up, and go right back to my face. What the heck??  This time the fall really really hurts.  I am scared, the kids are scared.  Jaden gets my phone and calls Shane.  "Mommy fell and needs help" is what I believe was said (I don't remember completely because I am half out of it while the call is made).  This call COMPLETELY saved my life, no doubt! Oh how glad I was that overprotective, over worried mommy that MADE my child learn how to slide to unlock and dial a phone number! Anyways, one more attempt to get up was made before Shane finally arrived.  At this point, the kids are sitting in a straight line, watching very intently me grab my chest because the pain is almost unbearable.  Shane calls 911.  My mind instantly goes to what every mom's mind would go to - my kids cannot see me on a stretcher! The 911 operator thinks I am having a heart attack and makes Shane give me an aspirin to chew and at this point my sister is arriving to take care of the kids.  She pulls up right when the paramedics do.  They rush in and attach me to every machine they could possibly carry in that ambulance.  My heart is beating way too fast and they want me in the hospital - they do however rule out this being a "heart attack" - but aren't sure what it is.  They wheel me out as I am looking into my panic-stricken children's eyes and it breaks me.  I NEVER EVER want to see that again and will forever have the image of them looking at me, so scared, burned into my memory.  My attempt to tell my sister to "help them not be scared" was just a jumbled bunch of words...
In the ambulance they give me Adenosine to control my heartbeat and this works, it brings it down to normal levels.  At this point everything is a blur.  All events are foggy and run together for the rest of the day.  I do know that my body started doing some sort of seizure thing that has since left me feeling like every muscle in my body has been torn and morphine didn't stop them.  I was in so much pain that I think my body blocked out the memory.  Everyone there said they haven't ever seen anything like it. I know that most of my family was there although I don't remember any of them.  I remember Shane, and my mom...and that's about it.  Shane was right by me the entire time! They attempt a cat scan to see what's going on but my body just wouldn't do what they wanted.  Every few minutes my body was in some weird contortionist move that kept them from doing any sort of test...finally they give me something that keeps me somewhat still.  And do another cat scan.  Blood..they find blood, and lots of it.   Internal bleeding to be exact.  One thing I do remember from that day.  Those words.  Internal Bleeding.  I knew I was dying.  And by the look in everyone's eyes, I wasn't the only one thinking that.  So they bring in bags of blood and start pumping it in.  I am scared. Shane is scared.  Everyone is scared.  So the question now is why?  They see a rupture right at one of my ovaries and call my OB.  It's a ruptured cyst - repairable at that!!  So they wheel me into emergency surgery and  take out half of that ovary (sorry if that's too much info) and suck out all the blood.  About 3 pints to be exact.  Your body has 10.  That's how weak I was. This is, of course, it in a nutshell and doesn't even account for the emotional trauma that this brought to everyone involved.  I know that parents should never go through that, husbands should never go through that and I hate that mine had to. To know that they watched me helplessly with tears in their eyes kills me.   


I am now basically on bed rest to repair whats going on inside there...but oh so thankful to be alive, and oh so thankful that my daughter was home sick with strep...crazy huh!!!


And all this the weekend  before we are scheduled to close on our house.  Great timing is NOT my specialty. 


I sit here writing this while under strong narcotics and with an ice pack on my belly while my husband is packing up the kitchen and I can't help but be thankful.  I couldn't have gotten through this without my family.  Everyone pulled together and made me relax. I truly do have an amazing family!  Shane, Stacey, my mom, my dad (he actually built me steps so that I can get into our super tall bed), Dustin, Jordon, Terri, Danny, Herbie, and so many friends who have brought food and offered to pack and paint.  I am blessed and this was one more way to show me how true that really is...


And now, I must sleep.  Goodnight all!  And remember that life is short - hug those babies and your loved ones!


And I must say that indeed it was God that was once again watching over our family.  He saved me.  As he has done over and over again in the past!  Thank you Lord, Your grace is amazing! 


Melissa